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You might encounter a couple who enjoy it, are well studied about it, and are vocal in regards to the pleasure principle of it. You could run into the exceedingly religious man who continually waters the sexual philosophy that anything outside of the missionary position is a sin, and anal is definitely and will always be a non-negotiable. We know—hopefully through common sense or with a click on any free porn site—that concept is modern urban mythology at its finest. Ass it turns out pun fully intended , all kinds of people are doing it: White girls, Black women, Christians, atheists, gays, straights.
Our ancestors and elders did it. Chances are someone close to you does it… and loves it. With so many people from diverse walks of life participating in anal play, why is it still taboo in the Black heterosexual community? Is the influence of conservative religious ideals on the sexual identity of Black women and Black men responsible for a sometimes-negative outlook on anal sex? Does the oversaturation of White women and underrepresentation of Black women in the porn industry contribute to this idea that anal sex is more readily engaged in and accepted by White women?
Or are our views of anal sex, and hesitancy around publicly owning its pleasurable aspects, possibly reinforced by rape culture? After all, we live in a culture where rape and sexual violence are as common as the rain, and our community—and the media—often condones, excuses, and in many cases perpetuates the idea that women need to be taught how to avoid rape instead of teaching men not to rape.
When speaking to other Black people about the messages we received growing up around anal sex, it came as no surprise that many of us were fed the same messages from media, religion and sometimes family. For many of us, there existed more than a few internal walls to scale in order to open up to and enjoy the back-door play experience.
For those looking to get into the backyard boogie for the first time, here are a few tips to get your started. Tip no. Use liberal amounts of water-based lubricant to avoid tearing and a generally uncomfortable experience. This is not something you want to rush into. Take your time and talk to your partner every step of the way. Sex is a gift. When enjoyed the right way, it gives pleasure, heals and allows humans to connect with one another on one of the most intimate levels you can ever achieve with another human being.